Conditions: Cloudy

Here's one for the bloggers:
I just installed a cloud to show off my tags (see 'File Cabinet' in the sidebar). If you want to add this nifty Web 2.0 feature to your blog, check out this site. It'll walk you through the necessary steps.

Cockstuffing

Ok, now I just read this in this week's issue of Der Spiegel. The topic is doping in the exhilarating world of bicycle racing, kids, and it's gonna get messy, so buckle up. Ready? Ok, here we go:
Apart from the whole thing about getting drunk, shooting smack, popping amphetamines and 'roids, getting transfusions of your own enhanced blood and all that good shit, this really freaked me out. Apparently, what those morons are doing right before a doping test is administered is to take a long needle, put some xylocaine on it and STICK IT UP THEIR DICK!
Why, you ask? Well, allow me to elaborate: to drain the bladder (because this is how far they ram this thing down their peehole!) of urine, swish it out with salt water and then--wait for it--they fill in clean urine. But here comes the whopper: it's not their own drugfree piss they insert BUT THEIR MANAGER'S!
Fucking hell! How desperately do you have to want to win to do this, like, after every race?! Not that I have been a big fan of this sport to begin with, but with this little nugget of information, I'm gonna switch channels the second I see a bike on TV.

Eat This!

A post in Mr. Warren Ellis's blog (who wrote such graphic novels as Planetary or the unbeatable Transmetropolitan [btw, go ahead and download issue #1 now! It's so worth it!] hints at this site.
Holy cow! What is this world coming to?!

No Time for Love, Dr. Jones!

My, it's been awfully quiet round here, hasn't it? (Again, I might add!)
Why, you ask? Well, actually work on the dreaded thesis has been going surprisingly well these last days, so looking for interesting blogging content has been slow. We're up to 28 pages (and counting) and not all of it is complete drivel! Huzzah!
But, taking a short break now, I have to put some oddities out there. So here we go.

The Art of Heckling

- That was wonderful!
- Bravo!
- I loved that!
- Ah, that was great!
- Well, it was pretty good.
- Well, it wasn't bad ...
- Uh, there were parts of it that weren't very good though.
- It could have been a lot better.
- I didn't really like it.
- It was pretty terrible.
- It was bad.
- It was awful!
- It was terrible!
- Take 'em away!
- Bah, boo!
- Boo!

Well, these guys are professionals, but most of the times hecklers seem to be pretty dumb. So what is a comedian to do?
Here's the late great Bill Hicks' reaction:



Somebody should show this clip to Fozzie Bear so that he could give those old farts something to laugh about.
So tearing the heckler a new one on stage is one plan of action, but someone finally came through with that other idea George offers in the 5th season episode The Fire on Seinfeld when Jerry gets heckled: "You should go to her office and heckle her." Yes! Bring the battle back to the heckler!
Which is why I desperately want to see this film.
Alas, it will never show in Germany, I'm sure.

UPDATE 17Aug07: The Bill Hicks video I used disappeared from YouTube, so I embedded an alternative link.

Truth or Dare

KeyArts discovered this for us:
a YouTube viral of a pilot for a new TV show hosted by Charlotte Roche. The game is Truth or Dare, the contestants are minor league celebrities, there's sex and drugs (no rock'n'roll, though).
(Probably not so funny for our American visitors, but at least there are subtitles, so give it a spin.)
Pt.1 | Pt.2 | Pt.3 | Pt.4

Art? Vandalism, says I!

Apparently, not everyone likes Banksy (cf. the last post); this comes via BBC (SpiegelOnline has it, too):
It just so happens that the people at Transport for London think that "a tough line had to be taken on graffiti because it created an atmosphere of social decay." So they whitewashed this Banksy original in London.

Brilliant, eh? Said the outraged pseudo-hip public: "But that was a piece of art! You can't do that to ART!" A spokesperson for London Transport replied: "our graffiti removal teams are staffed by professional cleaners not professional art critics."

Subversive Art, Pt I

sub·ver·sion

Middle English, from Anglo-French, from Late Latin subversion-, subversio, from Latin subvertere
1 : the act of subverting : the state of being subverted; especially : a systematic attempt to overthrow or undermine a government or political system by persons working secretly from within
2 (obsolete) : a cause of overthrow or destruction.

If you don't know his art, check out British grafitti artist Banksy's website; true subversion in effect. I love the mischievous little rats (all from the aforementioned site):

Oh Boy!

That whole Virginia Tech school massacre thing:
what a giant fuckup! There has to be a reason why people lose it and go on rampages like that so frequently in the US, and I think Michael Moore's Bowling for Columbine is a very instructive analysis of the situation.
There's way too many things to say and perspectives to analyze concerning this latest killing spree, so I'll pick two for starters:
1) This argument from the right, "had everyone been packing heat, this wouldn't have happened cause somebody would've shot the killer way up early!"--what a bunch of bullshit! If everyone was armed, you'd have Tarantino-style Mexican standoffs every lunch break everywhere! Is that what you call "a well-regulated militia", or are they currently all fighting this mindless war in Iraq? Piss on the long-overcome Second Amendment, fuck the NRA, and put the guns down! You idiots!
2) The killer--what an asshole! Another disappointed, stupid, worthless loser who wants to go down in history as the biggest killer in American history. And of course he has to tape a VJ-style testimony of himself and send it to NBC. And apparently, he knows his pop culture as well. Look at this:

Tell me he doesn't directly quote Chan-wook Park's revenge film, Oldboy!
Mind you, I'm not saying he did what he did because he watched a movie. I'm more interested in the way people pick up the traces of our visual culture and sample them in their own lives, same as culture picks up real-life events to mirror them in cultural products. (The pictures of 9/11 being just one example.)
Hopefully, 32 victims in one killing spree is finally enough for US society to start some fundamental changes by really implementing some efficient gun control laws.

From the Other Side of the Cage

Alright, two things from the world of zoos: first of, Cute Knut, who apparently can't take a shit without making the international news, has received a death threat--Berlin police says they will not dispatch bodyguards to protect an ice bear, those heartless bastards!
And then this: there seems to be a chimp at a zoo in the Netherlands who's more interested in humans than in his own primate buddies. Which means, as a visitor you're supposed to look away when the hapless ape is looking at you. Wow! This might be the greatest act of subversity from the animal world to date: forcing people--whose sole reason of going to the zoo is to look at the animal--to cast down their eyes when you look at them. Way to go, Cheetah! Knock 'em dead!

Listen: Kurt Vonnegut Has Come Unstuck in Time

One of the great American authors of the 20th century, Mr. Kurt Vonnegut, died last Wednesday. If you've never read one of his books, go and get Slaughterhouse-Five. His wit, his absurdity and his style are unique.
Here's a fairly recent interview from The Daily Show:


He'll probably get this epitaph from the aforementioned book:

Because it's like this: "Why you? Why us for that matter? Why anything? Because this moment simply is."
You can see the influence on the "Why World?--Why Not?!" blog.
Go on then, Kurt. In your own words: "It was alright, somehow, his being dead. So it goes."

Back on the Map

Okay, People, it's been a while--sorry for that.
I was on vacation in Lanzarote, so there. No internet, no blogging, simple as that.
Here's a picture for your convenience:


A very nice island, and still geologically active. The last volcanic eruptions took place a mere 183 years ago, so this place is hot! Which can be put to good use, since I had lunch BBQ'd with the help of good ol' Mother Earth--they just dig a 7-meter hole in the ground, put a grill on it, and bingo--bon apetit! Quite the experience, have a look:


So, now that I'm back, let's get back to work, which means back to the old Master's thesis. Bit of a slow start there, but making progress.
Also, a couple of things happened during the last week that desperately need commenting on. So, without further ado, here we go.

5 Minutes Fun at the Office

Via Milk&Cookies comes this little game.
Now go find them scissors and hack away!

300 Morons

I really tried to come up with a sharp and snappy analysis of Zack Snyder's film adaptation of Frank Miller's graphic novel, 300. But I just can't. It's just that the movie is so... dumb. It's just not worth it. I will say this: the aesthetics of the film are interesting. All that super slomo and the stylized colors are sort of neat. Also, there's, like, one location shot in the film (says IMDb), the rest is all blue/green screen. It would be interesting to spend a day at a set of such a movie. 300 blokes in Speedos prancing around in front of a giant blue screen, pretending to heroically fight off the non-existent hordes of invading Persians...

N*****, Please!

Two very funny clips concerning the infamous N-Word:

First up, Mr. Stephen Colbert interviews Jabari Asim:


And here are Larry Wilmore and John Oliver from The Daily Show:


While I do think there's a positive side to political correctness, I also think that by now it has gone way past its original goal. You see, it's not the word that kills; it's the asshole's brain behind the words that's the problem. So, n****r, f****t, c**t and f**k are not in and of themselves bad--but racists, homophobes, mysogynists and biggots are just plain stupid. Obviously, the rightwing bullshit mindset doesn't go away just because society avoids a certain kind of language. Rather, those people now say, "Wait, I don't use the n-word, so I'm not a racist!" Which is exactly why every time somebody more or less important does use one of those forbidden expressions in public, there's a meta-debate not about the problem as such, but about language. It's a diversion from the real problem, it's childish, and it doesn't help.
So fuck those racists, and fuck those fagotty PC cunts, too, nigga!

All Hail King George the Second

Watch this: Catherine Crier of Court TV sums up Dubbya's presidency using clips that denounce him as the crook he is. Nice piece of polemic journalism, very funny, and pretty scary. (Via Crooks&Liars.)

What, Me Worry?!

From KeyArts comes this link to a fun site.
Type in what worries you and blast away. Great stuff!

RSS Fuckup

Something in that humongous virtual machine that is Google/Blogger went "clonk!" and messed up the RSS feed of this site. (And not just this one--I've seen it happen to other blogs as well.) Now the feed shows old posts as new posts. So it goes. If you're a nerd (and I know you're out there) and know how to prevent this, drop me a line.

Innovative Marketing

Take a look at this article about the clever viral marketing scheme for the next Nine Inch Nails album, Year Zero. You can find more information about the whole thing here. Once again goes to show that Mr. Trent Reznor is one of the more subversive characters in the business.

Day Night Day Night

Just watched the trailer for Day Night Day Night--that promises to be a spectacular film! Nice to see that people can take the terrorist narrative to a whole new level other than your stereotypical Bruce Willis flick.